My purpose in Him
Why do I try so hard to be something?
To live up to that expectation
Striving to meet the standard
Not even sure where I’m going
Lead by a cloud of emotion
assumptions that swirl my mind
Of where I should be
What my brain tells me
And where society thinks.
Defined by the world,
A definition so untrue
But yet I follow
Down that road
Because I want to be something
Make a name for myself
In the society of status
I’m not even sure where I’m going
I just keep running
In the direction
But I never get where I wanna go
Because I have no destination
No home, not a place to rest
So I keep on my way
searching for the land
Of desire, status, and fame
I say the Lord is my guide
And he’ll get me where I’m going
But do I really believe that?
If I did I wouldn’t be striving
so hard for something
Wouldn’t be searching
Because I would’ve already found it all, everything I need.
I’d be walking with him
Enjoying the journey
Every moment along the way
Trusting that the mountains
didn’t move,
because they saved me
from entering the valley.
That walking through the desert
Saved me from the battle
on all sides
that the door was shut
So that the next one was fully opened
And that the sun didn’t shine
Because the rain was coming.
Instead of running without destination
Searching for the four leaf clover
Prying the door open
Climbing the step ladder
that never quite reaches the star
Ignoring the feeling deep down
And seeking out approval from
those people who’d turned in darkness.
Because if I’m walking with him
then I’ve already succeeded
Hit the jackpot
Accomplished all I need
Maybe not to the world
But to him
I matter, I have a purpose
And as long as I walk with him
He’ll take care of the rest.
The journey, the destination
Waters parted, open doors
He’ll do it all in his own way.
But I’m so focused on
what he didn’t do
Because of what I wanted.
Where I viewed myself
Where others thought I should be
And the name I wanted for myself.
But what if I was focused
on why he didn’t do?
I could ask myself
a million times over
And never fully understand, but
Would I begin to see?
His purpose all along?
The reason the mountain didn’t move
And the door wasn’t open
That the road didn’t lead me
To the destination I thought.
All because
I wasn’t supposed to walk there
That where He was leading me
Was better
And that my purpose in Him was greater than my purpose for myself